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ISTANBUL
— Some 70,000 people log on daily to “itiraf.com”
(confession.com in English), pouring out their hearts or
vicariously sharing in the turmoils of life on a website
which holds up a mirror to Turkish society.
Many
confessions touch on love and sex, matters that are
otherwise difficult to discuss openly in a
male-dominated society where religion and traditional
values hold sway.
The website, set up by Ersan
Ozer, a former journalist and television producer, is
now one of the most visited in the country.
Women, fewer than 20 per cent of whom are
Internet- users, are as numerous as men when it comes to
connecting to this site, according to Ozer.
Using only nicknames, people write in “speaking
of love, hate, joy, sadness, regret, everything that
makes up life,” says Ozer who never expected the success
which has made his website a household name.
Some confessions lead to heated debates.
The story of one woman who recounted how her
husband broke his foot kicking her sparked a deluge of
mail.
It encouraged hundreds of others to talk
about domestic violence, a subject that remains
otherwise taboo in a country where girls are sometimes
married off, at a young age, against their will and
“honour killings” still occur.
Surveys suggest
that 58 to 71 per cent of women in Turkey experience
violence at home.
Sociologist Ali Ergur, from
Galatasaray University, says the stories shared reflect
an image of “a society, which has long been oppressed
socially and culturally by the hold of family and
community”. Today, society “is in transition and has
trouble coping with new problems, which stem from people
moving to cities in ever-greater numbers, and changes in
lifestyle,” says Ergur.
Some stories carried on
the website are humorous, others highlight the
difficulties of living in a country that straggles East
and West.
“He left me recently because I was no
longer a virgin. I can’t understand the men of this
country — either you’re a virgin and not fit for company
or you’re not and you’re even less fit for company. Can
anyone tell me what to do?” wrote one 37-year-old woman
from Istanbul.
Ozer, who receives some 1,000
messages a day and selects about 40 for his electronic
agony column, says he’s “learned a lot about the
country, fellow citizens and especially about women”
since starting up the website.
He tries to pick
stories that stand out as genuine “because that’s what
people want to read about”.
“Most stories are
probably true, but veracity isn’t the most important
thing. What counts is the fact this forum allows people
to share intimate experiences in a spirit of
fellowship”, however virtual, says Ozer.
A
29-year-old businesswoman, who never otherwise bothers
with the Internet, says she reads the four pages of
electronic confessions every day.
“It takes me
20 minutes in the morning. It’s a lot more fun than
browsing through newspapers and it allows me to share
the experiences, adventures and lives of others, often
told in a very touching way,” she says.
The
website’s success has encouraged newspapers to start up
their own agony columns and Ozer to publish yearly
editions of “the best” web stories. — AFP
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