| Istanbul: Some 70,000
people log on daily to "itiraf.com" (confession.com in
English), pouring out their hearts or vicariously sharing in
the turmoils of life on a website which holds up a mirror to
Turkish society.
Many confessions touch on love and sex, matters that are
otherwise difficult to discuss openly in a male-dominated
society where religion and traditional values hold sway.
The website, set up by Ersan Ozer, a former journalist and
television producer, is now one of the most visited in the
country.
Women, fewer than 20 percent of whom are Internet-users,
are as numerous as men when it comes to connecting to this
site, according to Ozer.
Using only nicknames, people write in "speaking of love,
hate, joy, sadness, regret, everything that makes up life,"
says Ozer who never expected the success which has made his
website a household name.
Some confessions lead to heated debates.
The story of one woman who recounted how her husband broke
his foot kicking her sparked a deluge of mail.
It encouraged hundreds of others to talk about domestic
violence, a subject that remains otherwise taboo in a country
where girls are sometimes married off, at a young age, against
their will and "honour killings" still occur.
Surveys suggest that 58 to 71 percent of women in Turkey
experience violence at home.
Sociologist Ali Ergur, from Galatasaray University, says
the stories shared reflect an image of "a society which has
long been oppressed socially and culturally by the hold of
family and community".
Today, society "is in transition and has trouble coping
with new problems, which stem from people moving to cities in
ever-greater numbers, and changes in lifestyle," says Ergur.
Some stories carried on the website are humorous, others
highlight the difficulties of living in a country that
straggles East and West.
"He left me recently because I was no longer a virgin. I
can't understand the men of this country -- either you're a
virgin and not fit for company or you're not and you're even
less fit for company. Can anyone tell me what to do?" wrote
one 37-year-old woman from Istanbul.
Ozer, who receives some 1,000 messages a day and selects
about 40 for his electronic agony column, says he's "learned a
lot about the country, fellow citizens and especially about
women" since starting up the website.
He tries to pick stories that stand out as genuine "because
that's what people want to read about".
"Most stories are probably true, but veracity isn't the
most important thing. What counts is the fact this forum
allows people to share intimate experiences in a spirit of
fellowship", however virtual, says Ozer.
A 29-year-old businesswomen, who never otherwise bothers
with the Internet, says she reads the four pages of electronic
confessions every day.
"It takes me 20 minutes in the morning. It's a lot more fun
than browsing through newspapers and it allows me to share the
experiences, adventures and lives of others, often told in a
very touching way," she says.
The website's success has encouraged newspapers to start up
their own agony columns and Ozer to publish yearly editions of
"the best" web stories. |